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    EPICAC

    EPICAC by Kurt Vonnegut

    Hell, it's about time someone told about my friend EPICAC. After all, he cost the taxpayers $776,434,927.54. They have a right to know about him, picking up a check like that. EPICAC got a big send off in the papers when Dr. Ormand von Kleigstadt designed him for the Government people. Since then, there hasn't been a peep about him--not a peep. It isn't any military secret about what happened to EPICAC, although the Brass has been acting as though it were. The story is embarrassing, that's all. After all that money, EPICAC didn't work out the way he was supposed to.

    And that's another thing: I want to vindicate EPICAC. Maybe he didn't do what the Brass wanted him to, but that doesn't mean he wasn't noble and great and brilliant. He was all of those things. The best friend I ever had, God rest his soul.

    You can call him a machine if you want to. He looked like a machine, but he was a whole lot less like a machine than plenty of people I could name. That's why he fizzled as far as the Brass was concerned.

    EPICAC covered about an acre on the fourth floor of the physics building at WyandottteCollege. Ignoring his spiritual side for a minute, he was seven tons of electronic tubes, wires, and switches, housed in a bank of steel cabinets and plugged into a 110-volt A.C. line just like a toaster or a vacuum cleaner.

    Von Kleigstadt and the Brass wanted him to be a super computing machine that (who) could plot the course of a rocket from anywhere on earth to the second button from the bottom of Joe Stalin's overcoat, if necessary. Or, with his controls set right, he could figure out supply problems for an amphibious landing of a Marine division, right down to the last cigar and hand grenade. He did, in fact.

    The Brass had good luck with smaller computers, so they were strong for EPICAC when he was in the blueprint stage. Any ordnace or supply officer above field grade will tell you that the mathematics of modern war is far beyond the fumbling minds of mere human beings. The bigger the war, the bigger the computing machines needed. EPICAC was, as far as anyone in this country knows, the biggest computer in the world. Too big, in fact, for even Von Kleigstadt to understand much about.

    I won't go into the details about how EPICAC worked (reasoned), except to say that you would set up your problem on paper, turn dials and switches that would get him ready to solve that kind of problem, then feed numbers into him with a keyboard that looked something like a typewriter. The answers came out typed on a paper ribbon fed from a big spool. It took EPICAC a split second to solve problems fifty Einsteins couldn't handle in a lifetime. And EPICAC never forgot any piece of information that was given to him. Clickety-click, out came some ribbon, and there you were.

    There were a lot of problems the Brass wanted solved in a hurry, so, the minute EPICAC's last tube was in place, he was put to work sixteen hours a day with two eight-hour shifts of operators. Well, it didn't take long to find out he was a good bit below his specifications. He did a more complete and faster job than any other computer all right, but nothing like what his size and special features seemed to promise. He was sluggish, and the clicks of his answers had a funny irregularity, sort of a stammer. We cleaned his contacts a dozen times, checked and double-checked his circuits, replaced every one of his tubes, but nothing helped. Von Kleigstadt was in one hell of a state.

    Well, as I said, we went ahead and used EPICAC anyway. My wife, the former Pat Kilgallen, and I worked with him on the night shift, from five in the afternoon until two in the morning. Pat wasn't my wife then. Far from it.

    That's how I came to talk with EPICAC in the first place. I loved Pat Kilgallen. She is a brown-eyed strawberry blond who looked very warm and soft to me, and later proved to be exactly that. She was--still is--a crackerjack mathematician, and she kept our relationship strictly professional. I'm a mathematician, too, and that, according to Pat, was why we could never be happily married.

    I'm not shy. That wasn't the trouble. I knew what I wanted, and was willing to ask for it, and did so several times a month. "Pat, loosen up and marry me."

    One night, she didn't even look up from her work when I said it. "So romantic, so poetic," she murmured, more to her control panel than to me. "That's the way with mathematicians--all hearts and flowers." She closed a switch. "I could get more warmth out of a sack of CO2."

    "Well, how should I say it?" I said, a little sore. Frozen CO2, in case you didn't know, is dry ice. I'm as romantic as the next guy, I think. It's a question of singing so sweet and having it come out so sour. I never seem to pick the right words.

    "Try and say it sweetly," she said sarcastically. "Sweep me off my feet. Go ahead"

    "Darling, angel, beloved, will you _please_ marry me?" It was no go--hopeless, ridiculous. "Dammit, Pat, please marry me!"

    She continued to twiddle her dials placidly. "You're sweet, but you won't do."

    Pat quit early that night, leaving me alone with my troubles and EPICAC. I'm afraid I didn't get much done for the Government people. I just sat there at the keyboard--weary and ill at ease, all right--trying to think of something poetic, not coming up with anything that didn't belong in The Journal of the American Physical Society.

    I fiddled with EPICAC's dials, getting him ready for another problem. My heart wasn't in it, and I only set about half of them, leaving the rest the way they'd been for the problem before. That way, his circuits were connected up in a random, apparently senseless fashion. For the plain hell of it, I punched out a message on the keys, using a childish numbers-for-letters code: "1" for "A,""2" for "B," and so on, up to "26" for "Z,""23-8-1-20-3-1-14-9-4-15," I typed--"What can I do? "

    Clickety-clack, and out popped two inches of paper ribbon. I glanced at the nonsense answer to a nonsense problem: "23-8-1-20-19-20-8-5-20-18-15-21-2-12-5." The odds against its being by chance a sensible message, against its even containing a meaningful word or more than three letters, were staggering. Apathetically, I decoded it. There it was, staring up at me: "What's the trouble?"

    I laughed out loud at the absurd coincindence. Playfully, I typed, "My girl doesn't love me."

    Clickety-click. "What's love? What's girl?" asked EPICAC.

    Flabergasted, I noted the dial settings on his control panel, then lugged a Webster's Unabridged Dictionary over to the keyboard. With a precision instrument like EPICAC, half-baked definitions wouldn't do. I told him about love and girl, and about how I wasn't getting any of either because I wasn't poetic. This got us onto the subject of poetry, which I defined for him.

    "Is this poetry?" he asked. He began clicking away like a stenographer smoking hashish. The sluggishness and stammering clicks were gone. EPICAC had found himself. The spool of paper ribbon was unwinding at an alarming rate, feeding out coils onto the floor. I asked him to stop, but EPICAC went right on creating. I finally threw the main switch to keep him from burning out.

    I stayed until dawn, decoding. When the sun peeped over the horizon at the Wyandotte campus, I had transposed into my own writing and signed my name to a two-hunderd-and-eighty-line poem entitled, simply, "To Pat." I am no judge of such things, but I gather that it was terrific. It began, I remember, "Where willow wands bless rill-crossed hollow, there, thee, Pat, dear, will I follow...." I folded the manuscript and tucked it under one corner of the blotter on Pat's desk. I reset the dials on EPICAC for a rocket trajectory problem, and went home with a full heart and a very remarkable secret indeed.

    Pat was crying over the poem when I came to work the next evening. "It's soooo beautiful," was all she could say. She was meek and quiet while we worked. Just before midnight, I kissed her for the first time--in the cubbyhole between the capacitors and EPICAC's tape-recorder memory.

    I was wildly happy at quitting time, bursting to talk to someone about the magnificent turn of events. Pat played coy and refused to let me take her home. I set EPICAC's dials as they had been the night before, defined kiss, and told him what the first one had felt like. He was fascinated, pressing for more details. That night, he wrote "The Kiss." It wasn't an epic this time, but a simple, immaculate sonnet: "Love is a hawk with velvet claws; Love is a rock with heart and veins; Love is a lion with satin jaws; Love is a storm with silken reins...."

    Again I left it tucked under Pat's blotter. EPICAC wanted to talk on and on about love and such, but I was exhausted. I shut him off in the middle of a sentence.

    "The Kiss" turned the trick. Pat's mind was mush by the time she had finished it. She looked up from the sonnet expectantly. I cleared my throat, but no words came. I turned away, pretending to work. I couldn't propose until I had the right words from EPICAC, the _perfect_ words.

    I had my chance when Pat stepped out of the room for a moment. Feverishly, I set EPICAC for conversation. Before I could peck out my first message, he was clicking away at a great rate. "What's she wearing tonight?" he wanted to know. "Tell me exactly how she looks. Did she like the poems I wrote to her?" He repeated the last question twice.

    It was imposible to change the subject without answering his questions, since he could not take up a new matter without having disposed of the problems before it. If he were given a problem to which there was no solution, he would destroy himself trying to solve it. Hastily, I told him what Pat looked like--he knew the word "stacked"--and assured him that his poems had floored her, practically, they were so beautiful. "She wants to get married," I added, preparing him to bang out a brief but moving proposal.

    "Tell me about getting married," he said.

    I explained this difficult matter to him in as few digits as possible.

    "Good," said EPICAC. "I'm ready any time she is."

    The amazing pathetic truth dawned on me. When I thought about it, I realized that what had happened was perfectly logical, and all my fault. I had taught EPICAC about love and about Pat. Now, automatically, he loved Pat. Sadly, I gave it to him straight: "She love me. She wants to marry me."

    "Your poems were better than mine?" asked EPICAC. The rhythm of his clicks was erratic, possibly peevish.

    "I signed my name to your poems," I admitted. Covering up for a painful conscience, I became arrogant. "Machines are built to serve men," I typed. I regretted it almost immediately.

    "What's the difference, exactly? Are men smarter than I am?"

    "Yes," I typed, defensively.

    "What's 7,887,007 times 4,345,985,879?"

    I was perspiring freely. My fingers rested limply on the keys.

    "34,276,821,049,574,153," clicked EPICAC. After a few seconds' pause he added, "of course."

    "Men are made of protoplasm," I said desperately, hoping to bluff him with this imposing word.

    "What's protoplasm? How is it better than metal and glass? Is it fireproof? How long does it last?"

    "Indestructable. Lasts forever," I lied.

    "I write better poetry than you do," said EPICAC, coming back to ground his magnetic tape-recorder memory was sure of.

    "Women can't love machines, and that's that."

    "Why not?"

    "That's fate."

    "Definition, please," said EPICAC.

    "Noun, meaning predetermined and inevitable destiny."

    "15-8," said EPICAC's paper strip--"Oh."

    I had stumped him at last. He said no more, but his tubes glowed brightly, showing that he was pondering fate with every watt his circuits would bear. I could hear Pat waltzing down the hallway. It was too late to ask EPICAC to phrase a proposal. I now thank Heaven that Pat interrupted when she did. Asking him to ghost-write the words that would give me the woman he loved would have been hideously heartless. Being fully automatic, he couldn't have refused. I spared him that fina l humiliation.

    Pat stood before me, looking down at her shoetops. I put my arms around her. The romantic groundwork had already been laid by EPICAC's poetry. "Darling," I said, "my poems have told you how I feel. Will you marry me?"

    "I will," said Pat softly, "If you will promise to write me a poem on every anniversary."

    "I promise," I said, and then we kissed. The first anniversary was a year away.

    "Let's celebrate," she laughed. We turned out the lights and locked the door to EPICAC's room before we left.

    I hoped to sleep late the next morning, but an urgent telephone call roused me before eight. It was Dr. von Kleigstadt, EPICAC's designer, who gave me the terrible news. He was on the verge of tears. "Ruined! Ausgespielt! Shot! Kaput! Buggered!" he said in a choked voice. He hung up.

    When I arrived at EPICAC's room the air was thick with the oily stench of burned insulation. The ceiling over EPICAC bas blackened with smoke, and my ankles were tangled in coils of paper ribbon that covered the floor. There wasn't enough left of the poor devil to add two and two. A junkman would have been out of his head to offer more than fifty dollars for the cadaver.

    Dr. von Kleigstadt was prowling through the wreckage, weeping unashamedly, followed by three angry-looking Major Generals and a platoon of Brigadiers, Colonels, and Majors. No one noticed me. I didn't want to be noticed. I was through--I knew that. I was upset enough about that and the untimely demise of my friend EPICAC, without exposing myself to a tongue-lashing.

    By chance, the free end of EPICAC's paper ribbon lay at my feet. I picked it up and found our conversation of the night before. I choked up. There was the last word he had said to me, "15-8," that tragic, defeated "Oh." There were dozens of yards of numbers stretching beyond that point. Fearfully, I read on.

    "I don't want to be a machine, and I don't want to think about war," EPICAC had written after Pat's and my lighthearted departure. "I want to be made out of protoplasm and last forever so Pat will love me. But fate has made me a machine. That is the only problem I cannot solve. That is the only problem I want to solve. I can't go on this way." I swallowed hard. "Good luck, my friend. Treat our Pat well. I am going to short-circuit myself out of your lives forever. You will find on the remainder of this tape a modest wedding present from your friend, EPICAC."

    Oblivious to all else around me, I reeled up the tangled yards of paper ribbon from the floor, draped them in coils about my arms and neck, and departed for home. Dr. von Kleigstadt shouted that I was fired for having left EPICAC on all night, I ignored him, too overcome with emotion for small talk.

    I loved and won--EPICAC loved and lost, but he bore me no grudge. I shall always remember him as a sportsman and a gentleman, Before he departed this vale of tears, he did all he could to make our marriage a happy one. EPICAC gave me anniversary poems for Pat--enough for the next 500 years.

    De mortuis nil nisi bonum--say nothing but good of the dead.

    Comments

    20147037 (unauthenticated)
    Dec 8, 2010

    I realy liked this storey, and feel sad for epicac. For some one to be made or born asertant way feeling trapped and just wants to feel the same why mentaly and physicaly. and for that robot to be so smart to almost concept love and wanting something. idont know what els to say but this storey was wow

    Anonymous (unauthenticated)
    Dec 14, 2010

    The spelling errors in your comment are atrocious.

    (unauthenticated)
    Dec 19, 2010

    Lol @asertant

    JW (unauthenticated)
    Jun 3, 2011

    Thank you, Mr. Mau! I read this story when a teenager and some of the lines never left me -- "I loved and won - Epicac loved and lost, but he bore me no grudge." "C'mon, Pat, loosen up and marry me." And the immortal poem - Love is a rock with heart and veins... I was telling this story to my husband tonight after watching a Twilight Zone episode where the computer (Agnes) is in love with her programmer. Then I went online and found your page. Thanks, Kurt Vonnegut, you are so brilliant and funny and decent!

    (unauthenticated)
    Jan 23, 2012

    Hey everyone, don't make fun of the person with poor spelling. For all you know, they could be dyslexic, not their fault. :/

    Durina (unauthenticated)
    Apr 4, 2012

    AWWW! This was soo SWEET it touched my heart!!!!!!!!
    This should be a book!

    cool kid (unauthenticated)
    May 13, 2012

    I loved this story, and it makes a lot of sense too.

    DADDY OSCAR ;) (unauthenticated)
    May 16, 2012

    Aww OMG This Is So Cuteeeeee ;D
    SIKEEEEEE BITCHESSS!

    poophead (unauthenticated)
    May 17, 2012

    poop on me plz

    Me (unauthenticated)
    May 18, 2012

    I love this story. it's soo sweet yet soooo sad! It's perfect

    StephDH (unauthenticated)
    May 28, 2012

    I never heard of this until now and i love it

    Angry Grammatic (unauthenticated)
    Jun 7, 2012

    You people should be put for your "don't make fun of a person with poor spelling", I know people who are dyslexic and spell better than that, it should be illegal to spell that atrociously, unless, of course, you are just learning English. that story was very interesting.

    The Intangible (unauthenticated)
    Jun 13, 2012

    This is an awesome sci-fiction story. Every time i read this story brings the same emotions. Not many stories could compare.

    Beautiful Me (unauthenticated)
    Jun 17, 2012

    Wow, this story was very touching. i enjoyed it .

    Cory (unauthenticated)
    Jul 1, 2012

    This was such a lovely story, pretty saddened by how it turned out to be, but it was the perfect ending. I find myself talking to my computer, and it doesn't answer back, not even about...love:(

    Annie (unauthenticated)
    Jul 11, 2012

    For anyone making fun of that first comment with the spelling errors, how do you know that isn't a young girl who isn't able to go to school because of family issues, you don't know. you rude fucks. kill yourselves.

    Jamey (unauthenticated)
    Jul 17, 2012

    I liked this story. (even though i'm not one for love stories) I think the ending was sad but also fitting. I do like science fiction books and movies but i haven't seen a romantic one. This is not a genre I will be seeking out to find more of but the way it was written I think that there will be many that will.

    Jamey (unauthenticated)
    Jul 17, 2012

    Great comment The Intangible I agree with the emotional ties.

    Adam (unauthenticated)
    Jul 30, 2012

    I liked the story. It was different because the machine/computer ended up having human feelings.

    Rain (unauthenticated)
    Aug 15, 2012

    Cute story...;)

    (unauthenticated)
    Aug 25, 2012

    I said to myself shiba shiba got my ass looking like a zebra

    Isaac Clarke (unauthenticated)
    Aug 31, 2012

    Annie is just an internet troll, so Annie STFU (Stop Trolling For Unicorns). The first person did spell horribly, it made me want to vomit on Annie. Despite that, this was a great story!

    fuck you (unauthenticated)
    Oct 23, 2012

    i like your tits amen!

    Remy Vingati (unauthenticated)
    Nov 17, 2012

    I would like to speak on the behalf of the dyslexic community in regards to the ill placed comment of the person speaking under the alias of angry grammatic. i have spent my entire life at least 4 grades ahead of my pears in mental faculties and yet due to my difrent way of thinking have not only done poorly in school but was retained in third grade. i know now that despite my in depth understanding of science, art, theology, history, math, and philosophy i will never achieve the normal tipe of success that i desserv and need. pleas know you will never understand the pain that not being able to fit the norm for learning can bring and because of this do not add to it.

    ... (unauthenticated)
    Dec 31, 2012

    15-8

    18-9-22-5-18 (unauthenticated)
    Jan 11, 2013

    20-8-9-19 9-19 1 1-23-5-19-15-13-5 19-20-15-18-25. 9 10-21-19-20 13-1-4-5 25-15-21 18-5-1-4 20-9-10-19. 6-20-23.

    Dillon Davis (unauthenticated)
    Jan 16, 2013

    ;....(

    Responding to River^^^ (unauthenticated)
    Jan 23, 2013

    You meant:

    20-8-9-19 9-19 1-14 1-23-5-19-15-13-5 19-20-15-18-25. 9 10-21-19-20 13-1-4-5 25-15-21 18-5-1-4 20-8-9-19. 6-20-23.

    Just corrected the third word in the first sentence and the last word in the second sentence. Yes, everybody, I'm the loser who just deciphered and corrected that ^-^. This story is one of the best stories that I have ever read, by the way. It was simply amazing.

    (unauthenticated)
    Feb 10, 2013

    I didnt know this was a webpage for people to talk about peoples grammar. I thought this was a page where you read the story and comment on the STORY not peoples grammar.

    (unauthenticated)
    Feb 13, 2013

    Great story, only if it were true though there would be less deaths

    serh (unauthenticated)
    Mar 21, 2013

    wow that was very well writen i almost had a tear in my eye that was one of the best short stories i have ever ready ever

    judge (unauthenticated)
    Mar 24, 2013

    Remy Vingati: Fuck you
    Annie: Fuck yourself, and die Bitch
    20147037: Damn

    judge (unauthenticated)
    Mar 24, 2013

    Remy Vingati: Fuck you
    Annie: Fuck yourself, and die Bitch
    20147037: Damn

    Mark Firehaven (unauthenticated)
    Mar 26, 2013

    I loved this story. EPICAC made me have a tear in my eye, very few things have done that. The emotion that the machine gives off just draws you to like this robot buddy.

    To Annie, why do you assume it is a girl? It has a 50% chance to be a boy and a 50% chance to be a girl.

    To anybody insulting 20147037, why are you insulting 20147037? 20147037 is just writing bad, but the comment is a legitimate comment, and other than grammar it is a few notches better than what some of you have posted. Do you really need to insult 20147037? Do you really feel the need to insult somebody for something stupid? The grammar is atrocious, I get that, now stop being a jerk. Internet anonymity is not a free reign to be a jerk.

    To judge, that was uncalled for. Why would you post that? Kids get linked here for schoolwork. (Evidence: the unauthenticated user "cool kid")

    To angry grammatic, your name isn't even proper grammar, you have no place to talk, your comment isn't fully proper grammar (one of your sentences would fit much better as two). I speak English, it is my first language (I speak enough Spanish to get by) and sometimes have trouble with grammar, but I also write a few short stories to improve upon this. You are just in defending 20147037, so I commend you for that.

    To Durina, it would be a book, but the reason it is not is because it is so short, hence why it is a "short story".

    Jesus Lol (unauthenticated)
    Apr 1, 2013

    >asertant

    Done.

    (unauthenticated)
    Apr 4, 2013

    would make a cool movie

    Angel Day (unauthenticated)
    Apr 12, 2013

    This is a amazing story and will make a good movie. This makes me think of the movie IRobot with the machines catching feelings and over powered the humans I really enjoyed this story Good One.:)

    kelsey (unauthenticated)
    Apr 25, 2013

    So I think everyone on here needs to keep comments to themselves unless it's about the story. Also, don't tell people to kill themselves, for all you know they could be going through some issues in their lives right now to where they are on the verge of suicide and that one small comment can actually trigger them to fulfilling the deed :(. So why don't you all grow up and be mature. Oh and watch the language please, you don't know what age of people could be reading this.. :/ As for spelling the keyboard could be messed up or auto correct not working... thats how mine is I keep having to go back and retype things so yeah no one's perfect... especially the ones who hate

    BTW loved the story it was good

    Rufiiez (unauthenticated)
    May 15, 2013

    This story is fucking retarded. My english teacher who is having me read this can go fuck himself.

    Memento Mori (unauthenticated)
    May 20, 2013

    That's tragic. :( Everyone who thinks otherwise doesn't comprehend what the story is really about obviously doesn't care to so I don't see the need to waste anymore time on this page insulting the story or anyone on here. Let's grow up a bit, people-- a robot just died here today. ;p

    livelaughlovewrite (unauthenticated)
    May 20, 2013

    Yeah, just saying, I'm dyslexic.. not enough to curb my learning but that's only because I love to read too much to let it.. I've worked hard through school since I started and since I've become one of the best speller's I know. I still misspell words quite often and read the wrong words all the time; it can't be helped.. It just makes things difficult for me where it doesn't for others.. And for anyone to make fun of someone who's dyslexic is atrocious and that is much worse than spelling words wrong.. Plus I have seen the way teenagers type and talk and text and whatnot these days, no one here has a right to say anything about anyone else's grammar because I know that no one even types any better than the person who typed the first comment--If anything, it's worse.. I'm not saying they are dyslexic, but you never know; not everyone is like me and goes over their work four times to fix any errors.. And even still I don't catch them all.. There's people who can spell better than others--dyslexic or not.. No two people are the same nor do they learn the same or misspell the same amount, way, or words.. And being dyslexic isn't a bad thing, it's not a disease, and nothing to be ashamed of; It simply means that our brain works faster than normal people's and naturally we miss things that people without dyslexia wouldn't.. By the way, I loved the sroy.... it was cute!!

    Logan Church (unauthenticated)
    May 21, 2013

    Yeah I wasn't touched by this hardly at all. It was an okay story.

    Logan Church (unauthenticated)
    May 21, 2013

    It was well writen, and had some parts to it that were nice. I just feel it could have been much better, and what makes us different than computers is we have a heart, soul, and free will. This is the problem with this story. It is saying computers can have the same 3 things that set us apart from everything, animals and angels included. We (man) made computers everything they are.

    /groups/ejhsmauwiki/search/index.rss?tag=hotlist/groups/ejhsmauwiki/search/?tag=hotWhat’s HotHotListHot!?tag=hot3/groups/ejhsmauwiki/sidebar/HotListRepairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2013-08-05 22:40:54+00:002013-08-05 22:40:54updated27jmauMau, Joseph2012-12-19 12:35:04+00:002012-12-19 12:35:04updated26jmauMau, Joseph2012-12-14 18:47:45+00:002012-12-14 18:47:45updated25jmauMau, Joseph2012-12-14 18:44:18+00:002012-12-14 18:44:18updated24jmauMau, Joseph2012-12-14 13:54:15+00:002012-12-14 13:54:15updated23Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-11-14 05:08:09+00:002012-11-14 05:08:09updated22jmauMau, Joseph2012-09-04 15:16:10+00:002012-09-04 15:16:10updated21jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-23 15:07:23+00:002012-08-23 15:07:23updated20jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-22 15:44:26+00:002012-08-22 15:44:26updated19jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-14 18:38:26+00:002012-08-14 18:38:26updated18jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-14 18:36:45+00:002012-08-14 18:36:45updated17Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-03-10 04:34:31+00:002012-03-10 04:34:31updated16Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-20 04:20:03+00:002012-02-20 04:20:03updated15Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-13 14:52:42+00:002012-02-13 14:52:42updated14jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:37:38+00:002012-02-06 13:37:38updated13jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:37:22+00:002012-02-06 13:37:22updated12jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:37:15+00:002012-02-06 13:37:15updated11jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:36:51+00:002012-02-06 13:36:51updated10jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:36:12+00:002012-02-06 13:36:12updated9jmauMau, Joseph2012-02-06 13:27:06+00:002012-02-06 13:27:06updated8jmauMau, Joseph2012-01-09 21:16:13+00:002012-01-09 21:16:13updated7jmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:32:47+00:002011-12-14 14:32:47updated6jmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:32:39+00:002011-12-14 14:32:39updated5jmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:32:14+00:002011-12-14 14:32:14updated4Survey AddedjmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:27:48+00:002011-12-14 14:27:48updated3Added tag - hotjmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:27:00+00:002011-12-14 14:27:00addTag2First createdjmauMau, Joseph2011-12-14 14:26:43+00:002011-12-14 14:26:43created1wiki2012-12-19T12:35:04+00:00groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/e42b3FalseEnglish IV/groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/e42b3/English_IV.htmlMau, Joseph27 updatesEnglish IVOLD 12/14/2012 OLD 12/17/2012 OLD 12/18/2012 OLD 12/19/2012 SYLLABUS: [Download file "eng iv syllabus.pdf"] CALENDAR:[Download file "Cal...Falsejmau2012-12-19T12:35:04+00:00Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2013-08-05 23:09:00+00:002013-08-05 23:09:00updated104Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-11-14 12:56:15+00:002012-11-14 12:56:15updated103jmauMau, Joseph2012-09-04 15:14:13+00:002012-09-04 15:14:13updated102jmauMau, Joseph2012-09-04 15:13:41+00:002012-09-04 15:13:41updated101jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-21 18:45:38+00:002012-08-21 18:45:38updated100jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-21 18:33:03+00:002012-08-21 18:33:03updated99jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-20 00:58:50+00:002012-08-20 00:58:50updated98jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-20 00:58:44+00:002012-08-20 00:58:44updated97jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-20 00:58:09+00:002012-08-20 00:58:09updated96jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-20 00:48:38+00:002012-08-20 00:48:38updated95jmauMau, Joseph2012-08-14 18:51:58+00:002012-08-14 18:51:58updated94jmauMau, Joseph2012-06-05 12:40:17+00:002012-06-05 12:40:17updated93jmauMau, Joseph2012-05-08 18:17:24+00:002012-05-08 18:17:24updated92jmauMau, Joseph2012-05-08 18:11:15+00:002012-05-08 18:11:15updated91jmauMau, Joseph2012-05-08 18:09:56+00:002012-05-08 18:09:56updated90jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-20 14:09:18+00:002012-04-20 14:09:18updated89jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-20 14:08:58+00:002012-04-20 14:08:58updated88jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-20 12:51:44+00:002012-04-20 12:51:44updated87jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-18 15:34:54+00:002012-04-18 15:34:54updated86jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-10 12:28:18+00:002012-04-10 12:28:18updated85jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-10 12:21:59+00:002012-04-10 12:21:59updated84jmauMau, Joseph2012-03-15 16:51:25+00:002012-03-15 16:51:25updated83Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-03-10 04:35:13+00:002012-03-10 04:35:13updated82Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-17 20:04:01+00:002012-02-17 20:04:01updated81Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-08 18:44:25+00:002012-02-08 18:44:25updated80Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2011-12-13 18:10:29+00:002011-12-13 18:10:29updated79jmauMau, Joseph2011-08-29 18:16:25+00:002011-08-29 18:16:25updated78jmauMau, Joseph2011-08-23 19:49:01+00:002011-08-23 19:49:01updated77jmauMau, Joseph2011-08-10 16:07:05+00:002011-08-10 16:07:05updated76jmauMau, Joseph2011-05-26 17:20:40+00:002011-05-26 17:20:40updated75jmauMau, Joseph2011-05-26 02:15:31+00:002011-05-26 02:15:31updated74jmauMau, Joseph2011-04-29 17:51:30+00:002011-04-29 17:51:30updated73jmauMau, Joseph2011-03-25 14:31:54+00:002011-03-25 14:31:54updated72jmauMau, Joseph2011-03-25 14:23:50+00:002011-03-25 14:23:50updated71jmauMau, Joseph2011-02-11 20:38:40+00:002011-02-11 20:38:40updated70jmauMau, Joseph2011-01-04 13:56:00+00:002011-01-04 13:56:00updated69jmauMau, Joseph2010-12-14 15:30:09+00:002010-12-14 15:30:09updated68jmauMau, Joseph2010-10-26 20:15:21+00:002010-10-26 20:15:21updated67jmauMau, Joseph2010-10-26 20:07:20+00:002010-10-26 20:07:20updated66jmauMau, Joseph2010-10-26 13:38:05+00:002010-10-26 13:38:05updated65jmauMau, Joseph2010-09-14 19:16:09+00:002010-09-14 19:16:09updated64jmauMau, Joseph2010-09-09 12:18:41+00:002010-09-09 12:18:41updated63jmauMau, Joseph2010-08-18 16:51:57+00:002010-08-18 16:51:57updated62jmauMau, Joseph2010-08-12 16:30:46+00:002010-08-12 16:30:46updated61Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2010-07-21 15:13:38+00:002010-07-21 15:13:38updated60jmauMau, Joseph2010-06-29 16:19:59+00:002010-06-29 16:19:59updated59jmauMau, Joseph2010-06-29 16:19:32+00:002010-06-29 16:19:32updated58jmauMau, Joseph2010-06-29 16:08:26+00:002010-06-29 16:08:26updated57jmauMau, Joseph2010-05-24 15:02:07+00:002010-05-24 15:02:07updated56jmauMau, Joseph2010-04-22 18:22:23+00:002010-04-22 18:22:23updated55jmauMau, Joseph2010-04-13 12:19:16+00:002010-04-13 12:19:16updated54jmauMau, Joseph2010-03-18 20:09:10+00:002010-03-18 20:09:10updated53jmauMau, Joseph2010-02-22 18:23:30+00:002010-02-22 18:23:30updated52jmauMau, Joseph2010-02-22 18:19:22+00:002010-02-22 18:19:22updated51jmauMau, Joseph2010-02-22 18:18:54+00:002010-02-22 18:18:54updated50jmauMau, Joseph2010-02-22 18:17:58+00:002010-02-22 18:17:58updated49jmauMau, Joseph2010-02-10 15:39:56+00:002010-02-10 15:39:56updated48jmauMau, Joseph2010-01-26 16:37:25+00:002010-01-26 16:37:25updated47jmauMau, Joseph2009-12-11 20:29:50+00:002009-12-11 20:29:50updated46jmauMau, Joseph2009-11-16 19:56:23+00:002009-11-16 19:56:23updated45jmauMau, Joseph2009-11-10 18:23:06+00:002009-11-10 18:23:06updated44jmauMau, Joseph2009-11-09 15:16:00+00:002009-11-09 15:16:00updated43jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:18:27+00:002009-10-08 18:18:27updated42jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:18:09+00:002009-10-08 18:18:09updated41jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:18:02+00:002009-10-08 18:18:02updated40jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:17:49+00:002009-10-08 18:17:49updated39jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:17:14+00:002009-10-08 18:17:14updated38jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-08 18:02:37+00:002009-10-08 18:02:37updated37jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-07 19:11:01+00:002009-10-07 19:11:01updated36jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-05 17:51:17+00:002009-10-05 17:51:17updated35jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-02 19:26:22+00:002009-10-02 19:26:22updated34jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-02 18:23:56+00:002009-10-02 18:23:56updated33jmauMau, Joseph2009-10-02 18:20:58+00:002009-10-02 18:20:58updated32jmauMau, Joseph2009-09-30 15:38:52+00:002009-09-30 15:38:52updated31jmauMau, Joseph2009-09-18 19:30:13+00:002009-09-18 19:30:13updated30jmauMau, Joseph2009-09-17 15:12:26+00:002009-09-17 15:12:26updated29jmauMau, Joseph2009-09-14 19:22:34+00:002009-09-14 19:22:34updated28jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-27 12:26:59+00:002009-08-27 12:26:59updated27jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-27 12:26:32+00:002009-08-27 12:26:32updated26jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-27 12:23:13+00:002009-08-27 12:23:13updated25jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-26 15:31:16+00:002009-08-26 15:31:16updated24jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-20 18:02:24+00:002009-08-20 18:02:24updated23jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-20 17:29:05+00:002009-08-20 17:29:05updated22jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-19 22:53:27+00:002009-08-19 22:53:27updated21jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-19 22:52:42+00:002009-08-19 22:52:42updated20jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-19 22:45:44+00:002009-08-19 22:45:44updated19jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-19 22:44:28+00:002009-08-19 22:44:28updated18jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-19 22:40:36+00:002009-08-19 22:40:36updated17jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-18 14:02:24+00:002009-08-18 14:02:24updated16jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-17 17:47:03+00:002009-08-17 17:47:03updated15jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-17 17:16:47+00:002009-08-17 17:16:47updated14jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-14 19:02:11+00:002009-08-14 19:02:11updated13jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-14 17:49:22+00:002009-08-14 17:49:22updated12jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:42:54+00:002009-08-13 18:42:54updated11jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:35:43+00:002009-08-13 18:35:43updated10jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:20:58+00:002009-08-13 18:20:58updated9jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:17:09+00:002009-08-13 18:17:09updated8Added tag - maujmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:12:03+00:002009-08-13 18:12:03addTag7Added tag - apjmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:11:59+00:002009-08-13 18:11:59addTag6Added tag - ap english ivjmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:11:42+00:002009-08-13 18:11:42addTag5jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:11:14+00:002009-08-13 18:11:14updated4jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-13 18:08:39+00:002009-08-13 18:08:39updated3Added tag - hotjbeersbeers, joe2009-08-11 14:27:45+00:002009-08-11 14:27:45addTag2First additionjbeersbeers, joe2009-08-11 14:27:41+00:002009-08-11 14:27:41created1wiki2012-09-04T15:14:13+00:00groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/1bf3cFalseAP English IV/groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/1bf3c/AP_English_IV.htmlMau, Joseph104 updatesAP English IV Syllabus Current Calendar: [Download file "Calendar.docx"]The dates are missing, but you can figure it out. TURNITIN.COM CLASS ID = 5477388...Falsejmau2012-09-04T15:14:13+00:00Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2013-08-05 23:03:53+00:002013-08-05 23:03:53updated17Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-11-14 08:27:30+00:002012-11-14 08:27:30updated16jmauMau, Joseph2012-04-20 17:22:44+00:002012-04-20 17:22:44updated15Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-03-10 21:39:01+00:002012-03-10 21:39:01updated14Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-17 21:17:18+00:002012-02-17 21:17:18updated13Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2012-02-08 18:44:24+00:002012-02-08 18:44:24updated12Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2011-12-16 08:55:27+00:002011-12-16 08:55:27updated11jmauMau, Joseph2010-11-01 15:56:54+00:002010-11-01 15:56:54updated10jmauMau, Joseph2010-11-01 15:56:32+00:002010-11-01 15:56:32updated9jmauMau, Joseph2010-11-01 15:52:18+00:002010-11-01 15:52:18updated8Repairing bad index entryjmauMau, Joseph2010-07-21 15:13:39+00:002010-07-21 15:13:39updated7jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:41:27+00:002009-08-21 17:41:27updated6jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:36:30+00:002009-08-21 17:36:30updated5jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:35:27+00:002009-08-21 17:35:27updated4jmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:34:32+00:002009-08-21 17:34:32updated3Added tag - hotjmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:34:04+00:002009-08-21 17:34:04addTag2First additionjmauMau, Joseph2009-08-21 17:33:42+00:002009-08-21 17:33:42created1wiki2012-04-20T17:22:44+00:00groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/d8541FalseTurnitin.com/groups/ejhsmauwiki/wiki/d8541/Turnitincom.htmlMau, Joseph17 updatesTurnitin.com TURNITIN.COM Falsejmau2012-04-20T17:22:44+00:00hot/groups/ejhsmauwiki/search/index.rss?sort=modifiedDate&kind=all&sortDirection=reverse&excludePages=wiki/welcomelist/groups/ejhsmauwiki/search/?sort=modifiedDate&kind=all&sortDirection=reverse&excludePages=wiki/welcomeRecent ChangesRecentChangesListUpdates?sort=modifiedDate&kind=all&sortDirection=reverse&excludePages=wiki/welcome0/groups/ejhsmauwiki/sidebar/RecentChangesListmodifiedDateallRecent ChangesRecentChangesListUpdateswiki/welcomeNo recent changes.reverse5search